Moo Transcipt 3/28 English 101

MOO Collaborative Peer Review Transcript 3/28/00

OK. Here's the transcript. Use the table of contents below to jump to your conversation. You can cut and paste useful comments into a word document.

Mount Lemmon Classroom
        Discussion Room 1
        Discussion Room 2
        Discussion Room 3
        Discussion Room 4
        Discussion Room 5

-- Start log: Tuesday, March 28, 2000 8:15:50 am OldPuebloMOO time --

Discussion Room 1

------------------------------------Sjw------------------------------------
Sarah Weber
English 101, Sect.6
Essay 2- Persuasive Argument
March 21, 2000

The Guarded Gate

        Through the years innocent people who cross the United States/Mexican border have been bombarded by the
Border Patrol. In the Southwest, the Border Patrol has taken their position in government to high extremes by
pushing around innocent people. For many Immigrants, the border stands as a guarded gate. The patrol men guard
the border, standing with guns, wire, air crafts, and with faces of stone. Considering the incidents reported by
innocent people, the Border Patrol has been proven that innocent people have suffered harshness from the patrol
men. The Border Patrol is taking their position in government too far.
        The Border Patrol, especially in the Southwest, is taking up stricter measures to prevent people from
crossing into the United States. They have become like soldiers in a war fighting for their territory. The
Federal authorities have adopted a military approach to prevent allegedly dangerous people from crossing the
United States/Mexico border. They use militarization to not only scare people but also to stop the illegals from
crossing over.
They used night-vision goggles and binoculars, infrared sensitive sights on battle rifles, armed personnel
carriers and Hum-vees to chase frightened families...(Smith 1).
The Border Patrol has taken their position of government to the full extent. They use brutality on innocent
people. The militarization of the Border Patrol's strategy has resulted in an increase in the number of
atrocities committed by federal agents and troops against men, women and children who try to enter the US through
the border. The Border Patrol is justifying its military strategy by stressing the need to contain the external
threat posed by terrorists and drug traffickers. They will stop people because they have brown skin, or they
look like a race not superior to their liking. Just because the government supplies the patrol men with weapons,
doesn't mean that they can use them on innocent motorists.
        "Virtually everybody takes it as a given that at some point population growth must stop (Lamm 24)". But
bombarding innocent people is not the way to stop the sudden population growth. "The Border Patrol's border
enforcement strategy has been to apprehend aliens after they had illegally entered the United States." Not to
put guns to their face because they look like an alien. The Border Patrol in many incidents has stopped motorist
by gun point. They judge people because of their appearance to be an immigrant. They do not act on feelings but
with desires of hate, toward a group of indigenous peoples. We, the United States, have enough problems with
innocent killings; but we don't need the United States government contributing to more innocent murders at the
Southwest border.
        The Border Patrol will always have a continual hatred and prejudice toward the indigenous peoples. As
long as the government is providing the war-like weapons, the Border Patrol will always be soldiers in a war.
Made sure you carry a passport over the United States/Mexican border or you may become the next innocent victim
of the Border Patrol.

---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
Jess who wants to go first
Falcon32 arrives from Mt. Lemmon Classroom
Sjw says, "that is my essay...Sarah(behind you )"
Jess says, "who's essay is this"
SharonO says, "who should go next?""
RebeccaS says, "wait until we finish this one""
Sjw says, "are we just suppossed to edit each other's..."
SharonO says, "yes""
pablo has arrived.
Sjw says, "there are some sentences I didn't quote b/c the article didn't have an author but I'll fix it later"
pablo says, "how are you all doing in here?"
SharonO says, "good""
pablo says, "any questions?"
Jess says, " we are doing fine"
Sjw says, "I guess we are fine... they are reading my essay"
pablo grins
RebeccaS says, "this is a good essay....just try to make your thesis stronger. It's to broad. After reading the
essay I knew where yOu were going with it but, the thesis is supposed to be the road map"
pablo says, "keep up the good work."
pablo goes out.
Sjw says, "okay"
Falcon32 says, "i agree ... the thesis could use a little work, and once that is done, it will be a much stonger
paper"
RebeccaS says, " how many people are in here?""
Sjw says, "I think 4"
SharonO says, "you have some grammer errors and some sentences need changing, but I think that your on the right
track""
Jess says, " maybe you could make your conclusion a little longer""
Sjw says, "I know I have to reedit it... I have to make it stronger..."
Jess says, " your papr sounds good i like you intro""
Sjw says, "thanks... should someone else post their essay..."
SharonO says, "You have all your ideas you just need to do minor changes""
Falcon32 says, " i would just suggest, some revision to clear upp all your thoughts"
RebeccaS says, " I will post mine....but Ihave to warn everyone that I kinda started it over last night....so if
it sucks...it's under MAJOR construction!""
Sjw says, "hey mine is in major construction too..."
RebeccaS says, "I'm just embarasses....hehe""
RebeccaS says, "ok....here I go""
Sjw says, "how do you think I feel...hehe"
RebeccaS says, "Winter Visitors Bring Smog." The Arizona Republic. January 7, 1997."
---------------------------------RebeccaS----------------------------------

Rebecca Staniec
3/21/00
Sec # 6

Air Pollution

        On any given day during an Arizona winter in Phoenix, the mountains will be covered with smog, the sky
will have a brownish tint and the air outside will reek of fire place smoke.   This kind of an environment is
inexcusable. The massive air pollution in the cities of the Southwest are causing the environment major damage
as well as the cities residents.   The environment's ozone is deteriorating, causing radiation and global warming
to increase.   The people who live in these cities are experiencing health problems. For example, asthma and
allergies symptoms are increasing in the cities populations.   People are flocking to doctors offices to get
symptoms treated for their allergies and asthma, when the only treatment is clean air.   Due to the use of fire
places, the over use of automobiles and the inefficient public transportation systems, Southwestern cities are
becoming filled with toxic air that are causing medical problems in the cities residents.
        The headline "The Valley's air pollution appears to be taking a toll on people's heath." is the headline
for the article "Bad Air Brings Health Woes" in the Arizona Republic in 92'. Doctors offices who specialize in
allergies and breathing disorders say their appointment books are over flowing, largely because of the heavy
pollution in the cities.   The pollution is effecting everyone from people with light allergies to emphysema, to
asthma, to chronic bronchitis. This pollution is definitely affecting peoples daily routines.   A head emergency
room nurse, Dusty Sullivan, at Maracopa Medical Center told writers that they treated 151 patients last week for
lung and breathing problems, which is way above the 90 patients the hospital would usually treat for lung
problems. In fact 37 of these poor patients needed to be hospitalized (1).   Sullivan states, "I'd bet my life
that three-quarters of the problem we're seeing is directly related to the atmosphere" (2).   Four times !
since December 1, the country has recorded carbon monoxide levels higher than the 9 parts per million limit set
by the U.S. Environmental protection Agency.   Due to this fact, physicians strongly urge people with chronic
respiratory problems should avoid outside activity during these times of unhealthily air.   Speaking as someone
with asthma, this is a sad way to live life.
        Air coming in from California and Mexico city are not helping the air pollution situations in Arizona,
but they are not the only reason the air is so bad. One major addition to the cities air pollution problem is
the use of fire places. In the article "Winter Visitors Bring Smog" in the Arizona Republic the author writes
how some people uses fire places, "for atmosphere. It makes it feel as if it is winter in this desert!" (2).
This quote by an out of town winter only Arizona resident is ridiculous.   With Arizona being in a desert and the
low only reaching maybe 45'F why does anyone need a fire place?   In country where it is forty five below zero I
can see that there might be a need for other heat sources
other than electrical heaters, but here in the desert it is ridiculous. Another article, "Fire in the Desert?"
in the Arizona republic comments on how much this smoke does effect the air quality. In fact, Arizona does have
"no burn days" when the air quality is poor.   This rule proves to be hypocritical, for when the air is good
quality one day, why allow everyone to burn fire places and bring the quality of the air back down? There is no
reason why anyone should burn a fire place in the desert. If one does like it for atmosphere, there is the
invention of natural gas fires which are strictly for people just to watch and enjoy. Thus, the fire burning
ordnance in Southwestern cities, such as Phoenix, need to banned the uses of fire places.
        People drink bottled water, wash their food and even put air filters on cigarettes but there is no way to
run away from the air outside. The biggest factor to the air pollution in the cities is the use of automobiles.
People are now driving at the age of sixteen, are not car pooling or putting their cars through admissions
testing.   In some European countries the driving age is eighteen or twenty one.   Infecting a law such as this
would help to decrease the number of driver on the road and increase the number of car pools. If people would
car pool the number of cars on the road would decrease, cause a major decrease in the number of carbon monoxide
let out into the environment.   Thanks to the lack of wind, temperature inversions that trap smog near the ground
and unusually heavy automobile traffic the carbon monoxide in the cities is outriggers. As described in the
article "Winter Visitors Bring Smog" emission requirements should be raised because cars are driving the !
cities streets polluting.   Thus, by decreasing the numbers of drivers on the streets and making emissions
requirements, the air should be cleaned up.
        Finally, public transportation is a major issue in the Southwest. Due to the wide open spaces, the
spread out cities, and the on going expansion of the cities, cities such as Phoenix were not able to have a solid
public transportation system. In places such as New York, Chicago or California there are major subway systems
making it easy for people to get place to place in the cities.   In most Southwestern cities, the only public
transportation is the city bus. The city bus is also one of the biggest polluters!   Since the Southwestern
cities, such as Phoenix, are not able to establish a subway system because everything is so spread out, they
should establish a solid bus system.   Since the city busies are such extreme polluters, they should be run by
electricity or natural gas. As the article by the Piedomont Natural Gas Company describes, they have all ready
established natural gas patrol cars and buses that help to keep the environment cleaner.   By either
establishing!
a better public transportation's system, and making buses and other on going vehicles natural gas the
environment will be cleaned up.
         Thus, the environment need to be changed before it is to late. If a change does not happen, the ozone
layer will deteriorate, causing global warming. By simply outlawing the use of fire places, lowering the driving
age and making a better public transportation system, the environment will be turned in the right direction.

Works Cited
Connor, Staphen. "Caldwell Country to "Police" Air Pollution With New Natural Gas-Powered Sheriff's Car". New
Release. April, 22, 1997.
Davise, Alison. "Fire in the Desert?" The Phoenix Gazette.   February 13, 1994.
Hoye, David. " Bad Air Brings Health Woes." The Phoenix Gazette. December 24,        1992.
Pitzl, Mary Jo. "No Escaping Valley's Pollution." The Arizona Republic. January, 9   2000.
"Winter Visitors Bring Smog." The Arizona Republic.   January 7, 1997.

---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
RebeccaS says, " I rewrote my Thesis so now I am really focusing my paper on the effect air pollution has on
people, the environment, and what are some solutions""
RebeccaS says, "I didn't put the under construction version on the disk.....but you get the idea...any advise
would be good""
Jess says, "i think your paper is well organized""
Sjw says, "your paper sounds very good....i love your intro"
RebeccaS says, "thanks guys""
Falcon32 says, "i agree, great intro"
Sjw says, "there are just a few grammar problems...for example you use "way" too much...hehe"
SharonO says, "your paragraphs flow well and there's really no big errors that I could find""
SharonO says, "i agree""
Jess says, "your conclusion is good to you resate your thesis""
RebeccaS says, "Thanks...I will fix the "way" problem""
Jess says, "Who wants to go next""
RebeccaS says, "i wish he would make these papers due next week!""
SharonO says, "me too""
Sjw says, "me too..especially the unit 2 stuff"
Jess says, " yeah me too""
SharonO says, "i'll go next ,but It might take awhile, because I don't know how to do this""
RebeccaS says, "what unit 2 stuff?""
Sjw says, "the journal assignments"
RebeccaS says, "oh! I have no even started those!""
Sjw says, "me either... i have to do some today... so won't be too stressed out"
Falcon32 says, "ha ha"
Jess says, " me either""
Falcon32 says, "i need to get my act together too!"
Sjw says, "who is falcon"
RebeccaS says, "is anyone in here in their dorm rooms...or are we all at the computer lab?"
Falcon32 says, "andrew"
Sjw says, "i'm in the computer lab...(duh)"
Sjw says, "i wish we can go home now"
----------------------------------SharonO----------------------------------
                AIM HIGH?                                               Sharon Ortiz
                    (Essay 2)                                           March 15, 2000
                                                                        English 101

        Donald Barthelme once said, "The important thing is the educational experience itself-how to survive it."
The year is 2000 and our kids are faced a new survival camp, the Arizona Instrument to Measure Standards (AIMS).
A new test that is constructed by educators around Arizona for teenagers in high school. It was designed to
observe the academics that are being taught and if schools are in regulation with education. The new federal law
requires high school students to pass the test in order to get your diploma. The AIMS test will come into effect
in the year 2002 and kids are faced with a new adversity. The AIMS test involves criteria which includes Math,
Science and English. Each student is required to write and essay, and answer questions about math and science. It
is a combination of an assessment, a norm-referenced test and a criterion- test.
        In writing this essay I will be speaking against the administration and the department of education by
trying to persuade parents and school officials that this test might not be all that it's cracked up to be.
Before it intends to be useful in anyway it will become an educational hazard.
        The assessment part of the AIMS test consists of the essay in the English category. The students will be
given a topic to write about and they have two hours to finish the section. Some concerns with this part are the
biases against the students. Deborah J. Tippins of the University of Georgia, and Thomas M. Dana of Pennsylvania
State University agree that an assessment test are not worth the effort. "Assessment is the process of collecting
data to describe what a student knows and is able to do. Teachers often take the assessment data and make a
judgment in assigning the student a grade." (p.3-4) Dana and Tippins both feel that in order to grade a student
on their writing there must be some sort of prejudice that can effect the outcome for the student's grade.
        Why should writing what you know from your own experiences and feelings of life effect your grade? That
is like comparing the works of William Shakespeare and Ernest Hemingway, there's no possible way, but yet they're
both good inspirational writers. If everyone writes the same way it would be Math, not English In Math everyone
gets the same answer by calculating the problem with a formula, but in English each person has their own formula
for writing. The writings reflects a person's life. So no one has the right to grade someone else's life.
        The norm-reference test is made up of reading, listening, vocabulary, science, social studies and
mathematics. Math and Science are the two components which make up the norm-referenced section. This section is
suppose to "measure the student's growth and represent the foundation on which a student's future will be built."
(Reed, Lorrie p.11)
        This part of the AIMS test puzzles me. The students of Arizona are suppose to be tested on these section
to find out what their future will be like. How much more petty
can the administrators get? Who's to judge what a student's future will be like. Everyday young teenagers change
their life around, because their not satisfied with what life has brought them, but I'm sorry , America doesn't
remember the good in kids, they can just recall the shootings tat occur at schools and the murders cause by
teenagers. Open your eyes and look at the whole picture. If the United States is so concerned with education then
they should begin with themselves.
In dealing with the math section, Prof. Fred Peterson of Mathematics, who has taught for 29 years at the
University of Arizona explains that the AIMS math test needs changing and that it's too hard compared to other
tests that high school students take. Peterson explains:
"Nearly 45,000 students took the AIMS test last May, and students from every level of mathematical experience was
represented in this group. Only 2 percent of the sophomores passed. Of the group that that had taken algebra and
geometry in their first two years, 12 percent passed. Of those accelerated students who took three years of
mathematics, 34 passed. Of those elite mathematics, who had taken a fourth year of mathematics during their first
two years of high school, 54 percent passed& Of the nearly 3,100 TUSD sophomores who took the test, 83 students
had already received an "A" in college level mathematics& 51 passed and 32 failed."(The Arizona Daily Star.
3/5/00)

If the 32 students who are sophomores with an "A" in college level classes must not be going far in life since
they failed the norm-referenced part of the AIMS test.
        The last part of the AIMS test is based on a criterion reference format. These kinds of tests "describe a
students mastery of specific skills or learning outcomes, which include, multiple choice, true/false or matching.
The bias in these is that the students are measured against each other."(Reed.p12) First the students are being
tested against the material that should be taught to them, even if the school hasn't taught it, then the students
are tested against each other. What's next? They have to be tested to get into middle school.
        It's not the student's fault if they aren't being taught the right material. The school should be smart
enough to discover that. Isn't that the whole purpose of a school? If the school isn't accomplishing that then
blame the school don't punish the students. If a student can't graduate, because a school is incapable then it is
purely an act of injustice.
        The schools of America are simply not ready for a dramatic change like this. It is a disadvantage for
students who are sophomores right now, because they only have two years to prepare while students who are in 4th
grade have already began preparing . Another disadvantage is the "students who are awarded the National merit
Scholarships, yet not awarded a high school diploma, because of their performance on the AIMS test." (Peterson)
Even if the AIMS scores are keep off your the transcripts, it won't matter if you can't receive your diploma.
(Collins, Tim. Citizen Phoenix Bureau) I guess Goethe was right when he said, "they teach in academies far too
many things, and far too much that is useless."

---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
Jess says, " My paper needs a ton of work done to it because i have been sick so i have not had time to work on
it so when i post min you will have to excuse it i know it needs improvement""
SharonO says, "here it is read it and help me make changes""
pablo has arrived.
pablo says, "everything ok?"
Sjw says, "you shouldn't start any sentences with a quote"
RebeccaS says, "pablo! why are these papers due Thursday??!!!""
Jess says, "yes thank you ""
RebeccaS says, "We need more time!""
Sjw says, "please1"
Falcon32 says, "im at in my dorm"
RebeccaS says, "we are all stressed out!""
Sjw says, "with strawberries on top"
pablo says, "if i delay turning in essay 2, then there won't be time to get through units 3 and 4"
Sjw says, "even if we turn them on Tues"
RebeccaS says, "ok.... I had to try""
pablo says, "there is only a month and days left in the semester."
Falcon32 says, "then will you grade it easier? ... ha ha"
RebeccaS says, "Tues is not a big delay""
Sjw says, "yeah tues is not a big delay... we won't be doing anything on thursday anyway"
pablo says, "i will be fair & will give you guys a different sort of mercy, but i need you to turn in essay 2 on
thursday."
Jess says, " you have a good essay i agree not to start it witha quote""
pablo says, "on thursday we will start unit 3"
Falcon32 says, "ok, its cool"
Sjw says, "ok... you won"
pablo goes out.
Jess says, " you have a good intro just deleate the quote""
Sjw says, "my high school i had to take a test in order to graduate..."
Jess says, "Where are you from""
SharonO says, "did some peolple not pass""
Sjw says, "vegas"
Sjw says, "yeah"
SharonO says, "I meant people""
Jess says, "Do you only get one chance to take it""
Sjw says, "no you get up to three"
RebeccaS says, "you make a lot of good points! good details!""
Sjw says, "good essay.... I should have wrote on this because it is very interesting..."
Falcon32 says, " very interesting, and it makes the reader keep on reading"
SharonO says, "is the organization alright, because I always have problems with that?""
RebeccaS says, "actually, itis a little choppy but nothing major""
Sjw says, "just stick w/your thesis and use good transitions..."
Sjw says, "i agree w/rebecca"
Jess says, " your conclusion is good to""
Falcon32 says, " yes, i would also suggest to improve your transitions"
Jess says, " i agree""
SharonO says, "what about grammer?""
RebeccaS says, "who said they were in their dorm room?""
Falcon32 says, "i didnt any problem with grammar"
Falcon32 says, "i am"
RebeccaS says, "lucky""
Falcon32 says, "how do i paste my essay?"
SharonO says, "go to Microsoft Word""
Falcon32 says, "its short and i only have one source as of now, i have yet to add the other ones i have."
Falcon32 says, "ya"
Jess says, " do you want me to go next my essay is short""
Sjw says, "try to stay away from using quotes in the conclusion"
SharonO says, "hightlight it and copy it""
Falcon32 says, "ok"
Jess says, " i will go after falcon""
SharonO says, "then go on the MOO and type "@ paste" (without quotes)"
---------------------------------Falcon32----------------------------------
---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
SharonO says, "press enter""
---------------------------------Falcon32----------------------------------

---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
Sjw says, ""press .enter""
SharonO says, "no press enter after you type 'ctrl-v""
SharonO says, "then press enter""
Sjw says, "then you press . then enter"
SharonO says, "type a period""
---------------------------------Falcon32----------------------------------

Essay #2                                                                Andrew Schultz
                                                                        English 101 Sec. 6
                                                                        March 21, 2000

Position Argument

        Predator hunts are very crude acts to animals and should be banded from the all states. An, anachronism
was reborn [last month] when a low-profile government council overturned a ban on predator shooting contest.
(Vanderpool) The event was called Predator Hunt Extreme and consisted of a $10,000 prize to the person who could
bag the most coyotes, foxes, bobcats, and mountain lions within a set period of time. It is known that there are
up to six more of these contests in the state of Arizona. The Arizona Game and Fish commission banned such hunts
in September, but only after the public raised hell. Some people argue that there is a lot of good from such
contests, and somehow it is good for the economics of the town. To kill animals so local town businesses will
make money is totally wrong. There is really no point in the whole evident, unless killing innocent animals for
personal pleasure constitutes as a reason.
        There was recently a vote of the publics opinion whether or not they approved of the ban on the event.
13,856 comments received by the Arizona Game and Fishing Commission, and of those 13,856, 12,875 supported a
complete ban on the contest. Of those that supported the ban, 38% of those were Arizona hunting license holders.
Even with these results the council moved to not ban the contest. With this decision, it brought more people to
be angered, including myself. Now animal rights activists and environmentalists, and even many hunters are
angered. There definitely needs to be something done about this ludicrous event because I believe it is
unnecessary and inhumane. I feel strongly that this event/contest needs to be stop due to many factors
        This contest is one on the cruelest things I have ever heard. It is cruel because no one should ever
suffer unless they absolutely have done something to deserve it. I can imagine this event, and I picture a fox
come out of its hole and some red neck takes his shout gun and blows his head off. I cannot believe that anyone
would get pleasure out of killing an innocent animal. From personal experience I have observed friends kill
innocent animals. One day a few of my friends, including myself, went out and bought B-B guns. I do not remember
are logic for buying them or even why we did. I believe it was an eighteen thing. We were able to buy them so we
did. After we had them we went to one our houses and set up targets and shot at them for about three hours. We
then got bored so we decided to shot over his fence and targets further away. We could not hit anything; we were
all pretty bad shoots. Then one of us spotted a squirrel and shot at it, of course he missed, but then we al!
l started shooting at it like it was a contest. We ended up not hitting it, but all my friends wanted to go and
look for animals to shoot at. I did not want to be left out so I went a long with it. After arriving at a friends
house we jumped the fence in his backyard and went on a hike looking for animals to shoot at. On the hike we
barely saw anything to shoot at, and when we did I would shoot but would not aim at the animal. I am unsure if
them were aiming or not because we didnt hit anything except for the time when one of my friends shot another
one. There was one time when one of my friends did shot and kill a bird, and I felt horrible. It was like cheap
entertainment, and there was really nothing funny or amusing about it. Since that day I put my gun in the closet
and have not taken it out. I should probably give it away or throw it away.
        Obviously something needs to be done about these revolting contests. In the article by Vanderpool it says
that it is too much of a hassle to abolish it, and too difficult to change the rules of it so it is less
gruesome. This just shows how lazy this particular department is. Another reason given for not banning it is
because it will affect some income in the towns during the event. Is this what the world has come to? We will do
anything for money, and if killing innocent animals brings a steady income then we will do it. I am a strong
believer in only killing for survival, and if you do killing a living thing I hope that it will go to good use.
And personal pleasure is not a good excuse for killing an animal.

"oh ok
---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
Sjw says, "good job :)"
Falcon32 says, "thanks"
Falcon32 says, "to warn you all, it is short, and needs more sources"
Sjw says, "for your intro. describe your argument more "
Sjw says, "down to the point"
Jess says, " yeah expand in your intro""
RebeccaS says, "I like the part about the red neckblowing the fox's head off...""
Sjw says, "make us the audience want to read it more w/euthusium"
pablo has arrived.
SharonO says, " i agree""
RebeccaS says, "it's good...but you know what you need""
SharonO says, "make it more eye catching""
pablo smiles to see his students working together to improve their essays.
pablo makes nice marks in his gradebook.
RebeccaS says, "yeah!""
Jess says, " should i post mine we have about five min left""
pablo nods
Sjw says, "make sure you mark an "A" in Sarah Weber's section"
SharonO says, "yes""
pablo says, "yes -- you can stay here as long as you like."
Falcon32 says, "ya sure"
pablo goes out.
RebeccaS says, "same with Rebecca Staniec!\"
Falcon32 says, "i have a class"
Falcon32 says, "i cant stay that long"
RebeccaS says, "me too""
Sjw says, "me to"
SharonO says, "then out up your essay""
Falcon32 says, "but send it, we'll read it "
-----------------------------------Jess------------------------------------
@paste

@paste
Drug trafficking is a frequent occurrence where a single shipment has
long-term consequence on individuals. Narcotics trafficking are a continuing
concern and cocaine is the primary threat since 1985, but heroin is becoming
more of a threat. Traffickers are most active on the Southwest border of the
United States and use vehicles such as cars, trucks, and tractor-trailers
carrying containers to smuggle narcotics. Strategies to catch the drug
smugglers include disseminating intelligence on drug trafficking and
targeting high threat conveyances and cargos. The Southwest border uses
technology detection particularly on trucks, private vehicles and their
contents. There is only one truck X-ray system at the Southwest border for
detecting narcotics the cost of them is about 38 million.
Drug Trafficking is a big problem and many attempts are being made to
stop it, but it is hard to detect because the border patrol cannot stop every
vehicle to search it would take to long. Therefore it makes it easier for
them to smuggle drugs. Strategies that they have come up with are devices to
install in 75 of the busiest domestic airports where cost could range from
400 million to 2.2 billion depending on the mix of technology. More money
needs to be spent to prevent trafficking of drugs. Most X-ray devices cannot
detect narcotics; therefore there needs to be a stronger device and if it is
going to cost some money then it is well spent money.
The intelligence community believes that because heroin now comes in a
smoke form that eliminates the perceived risk of AIDS from needles. The
concentration needs to be on commercial cargo transported by trucks and ships
because this poses a serious threat. The United States and Mexico share
almost 2,000 miles of border and pass about 240,000 trucks, cars, and other
vehicles a day.

                                                                                 Include
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---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
Jess says, "i need to cite my sources too""
Sjw says, "make your intro. clearer...and make your thesis more simple to the reader."
Falcon32 says, " i agree"
Jess says, "ok'"
RebeccaS says, "I like all the details you used""
SharonO says, "yeah we need to know where your going with this essay""
RebeccaS says, "good facts and stuff""
Falcon32 says, "you have very good stats, and numbers on the topic"
Falcon32 says, "ya"
Sjw says, "good facts"
Jess says, "i told you it was a mess""
SharonO says, "good ideas i your paper""
Jess says, "ok i will""
Sjw says, "i think we are ready to go home now"
Falcon32 says, " are we done?"
SharonO says, "yup""
Jess says, " Its time to go bye thanks everyone for your help""
SharonO says, "same here""
Sjw says, "should I ask paul if we can leave"
Falcon32 says, "ok thanks everyone ... bye bye bye"
Sjw says, "or you guys could"
Sjw says, "thanks for the help... buy bye"
Jess says, " go ahead""
Falcon32 says, "i'm out"
Sjw says, "i mean buh bye"
SharonO says, "bye""
Jess says, "later""
RebeccaS says, "bye!""
SharonO (asleep) has disconnected.
Falcon32 says, " we can leave ... right?"
Sjw (asleep) has disconnected.
Falcon32 (asleep) has disconnected.
Jess (asleep) has disconnected.
RebeccaS (asleep) has disconnected.
pablo has arrived.
pablo goes out.
The housekeeper arrives to cart SharonO off to bed.
The housekeeper arrives to cart Sjw off to bed.
The housekeeper arrives to cart Falcon32 off to bed.
The housekeeper arrives to cart Jess off to bed.
The housekeeper arrives to cart RebeccaS off to bed.

Discussion Room 2

-- Start log: Tuesday, March 28, 2000 8:16:01 am OldPuebloMOO time --

Falcon32 leaves for Mt. Lemmon Classroom
nicki guest leaves for Mt. Lemmon Classroom
nicki guest arrives from Mt. Lemmon Classroom
ElizabethC says, "roy are u gong to post your essay"
nicki guest says, "how do we post it"
nicki guest says, "look blackboard""
nicki guest leaves for Mt. Lemmon Classroom
nicki guest arrives from Mt. Lemmon Classroom
ElizabethC says, "Nikki type in look blackboard without the quotation marks to get instructions on how to post
your essay "
roy guest says, "yeah hold on im trying too post my essy "
pablo has arrived.
pablo says, "how are you all doing in here?"
pablo says, "remember -- if you want to stop the screen from scrolling, just type 'say' and hit enter. you can
make it scroll again by hitting enter again."
--------------------------------ElizabethC---------------------------------
Michelle Craigmile
English 101 Sec 6
3-21-00

Rough Draft

Michelle Craigmile
English 101 Sec 6
3-21-00

Rough Draft

Here in the Southwest there are many controversial topics that affect Americans, particularly those who live near
the border. One huge issue is illegal immigration. America attracts a mixture of immigrants, with increasing
numbers coming from less-developed countries. Especially here in the Southwest, since it is right near the
border of Mexico. There have been many problems for the U.S. when dealing with illegal immigrants. People such
as the government have taken action to try and reduce the number of "aliens" that enter our country. "A 1993
poll indicated that 68% of Americans believe that most of the people who have moved to the United States in the
last few years are here illegally. They were wrong. Nearly nine million immigrated legally during the 1980's;
in the same decade, perhaps three million settled here illegally."(p.62 Andryszewski) There are many problems
created by the illegal immigrants that affect the American way of living. There are many effects th!
at the illegal immigrants have on our culture or way of living such as our fear of economic impact by the
immigrants, the use of welfare services by the immigrants, and the smuggling of illegal substances. All these
problems arise when we allow more and more illegal immigrants to stay in our country. I definitely think we have
a problem and their needs to be fast action in order to fix it.
There are all sorts of different types of illegal immigrants that try to come into our country. Economists
believe that the post-1965 immigrants are less skilled and therefore do less well in the work force than
native-born Americans or earlier immigrants. (p.54 Andryszewski) It is very hard for immigrants to make a living
for themselves in a country that is so economically developed. Their are some very critical factors for
immigrants that are trying to make it in America such as their education level, English fluency, and the
experience living in a powerful country. The Americans worry that if too many immigrants come into the U.S. they
will steal all the jobs available and make it harder for Americans to find a job. Some employees hire immigrants
so they won't have to pay them as much as they would pay a more experienced citizen. Americans complain that
immigrants raise our taxes and that once they are in the U.S. they will never become productive citizens who pay
the!
ir share of taxes. Our economy is endanger of too many illegal's taking over jobs that are here for the
citizens.
The U.S. has permanent laws stating that required by federal law, public education and emergency health care
should be provided to everyone living in the United States, legal and illegal immigrants as well as natives.
Some states require that some non emergency health services be available to all in need, whether or not they can
afford to pay. (58) People assume that we are being taken advantage of because we are giving away so many
benefits to illegal's with our welfare programs, but others think that is not the case. They believe that the
immigrants come here hoping to work and be successful. They already know that in their country their is nothing
to offer them. That is the exact reason they escaped and came into our country. People would like to see costs
shifted from being locally paid to being payed by the federal government. They are sick of paying for all the
illegal immigrants and are most concerned with what they can do to prevent them from coming into their c!
ountry.
Another problem with illegal immigrants is their smuggling drugs or other substances into this country. As if
we don't already have enough problems with illegal drugs. Bringing in more illegal substances just makes it
worse for the American public to get in trouble for handling illegal drugs. Along with illegal drugs being
brought into the country there is also the risk of violence that might increase once illegal immigrants are on
their own in the U.S. The illegal immigrants finding and being hired for jobs could cause a lot of problems
between citizens and immigrants. The immigrants don't know all the laws and could wind up doing the wrong things
which in turn creates violence. There is a border that extends 6,000 miles across the U.S. and Mexico. This is
such a great amount of land area that law enforcement officers have a difficult time keeping illegal immigrants
out of the country. 1.25 million people were caught trying to enter the United States illegally in 199!
3. But on the other hand it was estimated that two out of every three who tried to come in succeeded in doing
so. (p.52 Levine) Some people even try to come in by ship. It seems that there is always a way in and we are
never going to be fully able to prevent all illegal immigrants from trying to come in to the U.S.
There are many actions that can be done to prevent illegal immigrants from entering the U.S. First, we need to
have more border patrol patrolling the border. As of now, the border covers to much land that it is hard for the
border control to patrol hundreds of miles of border. The border patrol needs to be more strict at the border.
I have gone across the border into Mexico and when I came back all that was asked was, am I an American citizen
and am I bringing back anything into the country? They must really have trusted me since they asked me those two
questions and then smiled and waved me through. I was now back in the U.S. and I wasn't even searched or asked
for any ID. I felt that the border patrol officers were a little to trusting. I'm sure that doesn't happen with
everyone. Some people may look a little different and could be asked to show ID, but you never know.
The United States is the land of many opportunities. It provides a better life for people that are use to
living in a less fortunate economy. The United States is very well economically developed as opposed to other
countries. Immigrants think that they can get away with not paying for taxes and other welfare. It is a place
were they can take full advantage until they are making a lot of money and want to become a citizen and take full
responsibility. I think that we need to put an end to illegal immigrants and make or border control stronger.
We don't have the money or resources to provide for anyone. It is nice to help people try to rebuild their lives
where they have more freedom and many more choices, but we can't provide for everyone. The border patrol need to
make sure they are properly armed because of one of the major problems discussed before which says that
immigrants smuggle drugs and it could get dangerous to be the person to have to control the circumstan!
ce. A final thought, illegal immigrants have to be kept out of country no questions asked.
and enter
and enter
@paste
"I can't get mine to come up
"help
---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
pablo says, "good work, michelle."
pablo says, "any one else need help?"
ElizabethC says, "thanks"
pablo says, "if you can't see what you're typing and nothing seems to be happening, type "@abort" and hit enter."
pablo says, "that will take you out of @paste mode."
pablo goes out.
TheodoreE says, "i am lost"
nicki guest leaves for Mt. Lemmon Classroom
nicki guest arrives from Mt. Lemmon Classroom
TheodoreE leaves for Mt. Lemmon Classroom
nicki guest leaves for Mt. Lemmon Classroom
nicki guest arrives from Mt. Lemmon Classroom
nicki guest says, "mine is not working""
nicki guest leaves for Mt. Lemmon Classroom
nicki guest arrives from Mt. Lemmon Classroom
nicki guest says, "I can't get the paper to come up""
TheodoreE arrives from Mt. Lemmon Classroom
pablo has arrived.
roy guest says, "can anybody hear me?"
pablo says, "teddy it will ask you for the text. at that point paste it into the box with the right click
button."
pablo says, "then hit return. then type "." and hit return again."
nicki guest says, "paul everything works until i try to type, "and enter""
TheodoreE says, "http://199.172.8.27/weblink/Default2.asp this keeps coming up"
ElizabethC says, "push period"
ElizabethC says, "nikki"
TheodoreE says, "whenever I paste"
nicki guest says, "k"
pablo says, "hit enter, nicki rather than typing it."
pablo says, "try using ctrl-v to paste it into the lower left box."
pablo says, "after you've typed in @paste."
pablo says, "teddy, are you using internet explorer?"
nicki guest leaves for Mt. Lemmon Classroom
nicki guest arrives from Mt. Lemmon Classroom
TheodoreE says, "no netscape"
pablo says, "ok."
pablo says, "does ctrl-v work for you, teddy?"
ElizabethC says, "roy are you there?"
TheodoreE says, "http://199.172.8.27/weblink/Default2.asp this keeps coming up"
pablo wishes his students had followed his instructions and practiced doing this before class, or come into the
kaibab lab where he could help them.
roy guest says, "yes"
roy guest says, "elizabeth?"
-----------------------------------pablo-----------------------------------
"it will ask you for the text. at that point paste it into the box with the right click button."
---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
pablo says, "@paste seems to be working."
pablo says, "so can anyone @paste an essay in so that you can edit it?"
roy guest says, "trying too"
ElizabethC says, "elizabeth is my first name but I go by Michelle"
pablo nods to michelle
pablo says, "michelle, you were able to @paste in your essay, weren't you? did you get feedback on it."
roy guest says, "elizebeth or michelle?"
roy guest says, "going to the bathroom really quik"
pablo throws up his hands and goes to help students in the kaibab lab.
pablo goes out.
ElizabethC says, "pablo no I have not got feed back yet"
TheodoreE says, "i am coming back in"
TheodoreE (asleep) has disconnected.
TheodoreE has connected.
TheodoreE leaves for Mt. Lemmon Classroom
roy guest says, "michelle?"
roy guest says, "elizabeth my bad"
ElizabethC says, "yes?"
roy guest says, "how are u doing it?"
roy guest says, "Gun Control"
ElizabethC says, "you have to @paste your essay"
roy guest says, "ive been doing that"
ElizabethC says, "and the push control v"
TheodoreE arrives from Mt. Lemmon Classroom
roy guest says, "i cant get to work for some reason?"
pablo has arrived.
ElizabethC says, "well will you read mine and make comments on it"
pablo says, "remember that essay 2 is do along with your portfolio on thursday."
roy guest says, "yeah hun"
ElizabethC says, "thanks"
pablo says, "spend the rest of the period revising michelle's paper if no one else can @paste successfully."
pablo says, "i'm sorry that you didn't follow my instructions and make sure that you could @paste from home. i
have been able to help people that are in the lab."
pablo goes out.
ElizabethC says, " opps you are in trouble"
ElizabethC says, "j/k"
roy guest says, "whatev"
TheodoreE says, "can you paste your document again"
roy guest says, "i get it in the lower left hand thing but it woun't go though"
ElizabethC says, "what?"
ElizabethC says, "who do you want to paste there essay"
roy guest says, "i get it where u type at right , and then i press enter and it doen't work"
ElizabethC says, "push a period"
roy guest says, "and then enter?"
ElizabethC says, "no it should come up right then"
TheodoreE says, "elizabeth"
roy guest says, "this is really pissing me off big time"
roy guest says, "so fustating"
ElizabethC says, "I know"
ElizabethC says, "sorry"
ElizabethC says, "me Theodore?"
roy guest says, "ok u type @paste and then press ctrl v and then period right?"
ElizabethC says, "post my essay?"
ElizabethC says, "well yes"
roy guest says, " what are u doing this weekend elizabeth?"
ElizabethC says, " where do you have your essay"
ElizabethC says, "is it on a floppy?"
roy guest says, "yes"
pablo has arrived.
TheodoreE says, "it'confusing"
pablo [to michelle]: "did they give you any good advice?
pablo says, "is it confusing at the level of the sentence or is there some other issue getting in the way?"
ElizabethC says, "well not yet"
pablo says, "explain how to make it less confusing."
TheodoreE says, "i left for a minute logged off and did not see you paper when i came back"
roy guest says, "elizabeth all it says is that , i don't understand over and over again"
roy guest says, "i never got the paper?"
ElizabethC says, "who's paper? mine?"
roy guest says, "i got half of it"
ElizabethC says, "what says over and over again?"
roy guest says, "i don't understand"
roy guest says, "it says that over and over again"
pablo [to michelle]: "sense you didn't get feedback on your paper and were prepared to do the MOO project today,
please email me your paper and i will comment on in.
ElizabethC says, "okay thank you!"
pablo goes out.
roy guest says, "i only got half of it"
roy guest says, "elizabeth are u there?"
ElizabethC says, "ya"
roy guest says, " are we done or something?"
ElizabethC says, "well just tell me what you think""
ElizabethC says, "on what you see"
roy guest says, "what did u do this weekend?"
roy guest says, "its really good"
TheodoreE says, "i am vcompletely losy"
ElizabethC says, "bye"
roy guest says, "expect u need to use some more descripitive words"
ElizabethC (asleep) has disconnected.
roy guest says, "are u done theodore?"
TheodoreE says, "i guess"
roy guest says, "ok see ya then homie"
pablo has arrived.
pablo says, "ok. class is over. feel free to stick around if you wish, though. see you on thursday."
pablo goes out.
TheodoreE (asleep) has disconnected.
roy guest has disconnected.
The housekeeper arrives to remove roy guest.
The housekeeper arrives to cart ElizabethC off to bed.
The housekeeper arrives to cart TheodoreE off to bed.

Discussion Room 3

-- Start log: Tuesday, March 28, 2000 8:16:05 am OldPuebloMOO time --

JordanO not really
JordanO says, "sure"
-----------------------------------RyanD-----------------------------------

---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
-----------------------------------RyanD-----------------------------------
@paste
Ryan Dalton
Eng. 101 Sec. 6
Draft Essay 2

Two Thumbs Down for the AIMS Test

        Every sophomore attending a public or chartered high school in Arizona probably has the same question on
their minds. Why is the state introducing a required test in order to pass high school? The Arizona Department
of Education's most logical answer to that question would be that the Arizona Instrument for Measuring Standards
(AIMS) test was designed to ensure that a student would be prepared enough to attend college. The test consists
of three sections which are math, reading, and writing. Students are given the test as sophomores and get up to
five chances to finally pass every section of the test before they graduate. After millions of dollars were
spent and many practice tests were given out, the class of 2002 will be the first to take the AIMS test which
will appear on their transcripts.
        Initially, the introduction of the test was favored by many people, but it is becoming quite
controversial because practice tests have revealed extremely low scores. The lowest scores came from the math
section where only about ten percent of Arizona sophomores passed. The passing results in the writing section
were not much better either. Only about thirty percent were able to pass that section. The reading section
appeared the most reasonable, but was also quite low with only sixty percent passing. Teachers, students, and
parents have now been questioning the difficulty and even the reasoning behind the AIMS test because not enough
students will be able to pass high school. Over the past few years, many articles have appeared in many local
newspapers in regards to the this test. Some have been in favor of the AIMS test, but the majority have gone
against the test. After reading every aspect of the AIMS test, I have concluded that it should be removed from
all public!
high schools because no one is benefiting from the test; it is only causing conflict between the community and
the Arizona Department of Education, further, my own experience with the test has been negative.
        How can the Arizona Department of Education justify that one test will tell whether a student has
obtained certain specific skills to graduate high school? According to the Arizona School Superintendent Lisa
Graham Keegan, "The questions on the AIMS test accurately reflect the skills that students are supposed to have
by graduation. And those standards are appropriate" (Howard Fischer, 2B). This statement is quite disturbing
because it is basically saying that if one does not pass the test, he or she simply did not have the skills to do
so and will not be able to succeed in college. How does Keegan have the authority to determine what skills are
necessary to pass high school? Sure, she has been greatly involved with Arizona's public education curriculum,
but she was also a Stanford graduate who was probably only used to complicated material throughout her years of
going to school. Her level of expectancy is obviously too high due to this observation, which is creating a!
problem for the average student. Bobbie Jo Buel, the managing editor for the Arizona Daily Star, makes a
comment that complies with Keegan by saying, "I think there are definitely things in there that are relevant.
Reading comprehension-any job requires some kind of reading. It seems to me a valid thing to test high school
graduates on" (Sarah Tully Tapia, 3). Of course reading comprehension is necessary for any student, but the
level of difficulty is too extreme, according to the poor test results. An outraged defense and education fund
attorney lashes out at these types of remarks that are in favor of the AIMS test by saying, "No test is so
perfect that in three hours it can accurately assess your ability to do high school work" (Monica Mendoza, 3).
This statement is quite true, because from a student's standpoint, I feel that many of the most important things
learned in high school could not be tested. A few such things that a student could not be tested on is their!
work ethics, responsibility, and

2.
the ability to be self-sufficient. Even if key concepts were tested, they might be distorted
in a way that is unfamiliar, making the test ridiculously hard.
Well, even though these opinions in favor of the AIMS test seem valid, there are many more important
considerations. The most important is whether a student is a good test taker. Here is an ideal example to
compliment this notion. "Hilary Hiser, plans to go to law school. She ranked No. 3 in her class of 469 at
Flowing Wells high school with a better than straight-A average. After six straight years of math, she's taking
pre-calculus. She failed the math portion of the AIMS test" (Rhonda Bodfield Sander, 1). According to the
Arizona department of Education, this would mean that Hilary could not graduate high school. Does this seem fair
that she worked extremely hard throughout high school with exceptional grades and finds out that she can not
graduate? This is totally ridiculous for any student to have to deal with this type of circumstance. What would
the Arizona Department of Education say to that girl's family? "Sorry, but rules are rules?" That does not work
f!
or me and would not be alright with anyone else. This is just one of the many examples why the test is harmful.
Another important factor to consider is whether the test is just too difficult for the average student to
pass. The low scores definitely reflect the difficulty of the test. At a local high school in Tucson for
instance, only two percent of students passed the math practice section. Daniel Rodriguez was one of the
students that took the test and made the comment, "The math was strenuous. The reading comprehension was even
harder" (Hipolito R. Corella and Sarah Tully Tapia, 5). Lawmakers disagree by saying, "The sophomores who did
poorly on the tests haven't necessarily had all their math classes yet, so they're expecting scores to improve by
the time the test is official" (Rhonda Bodfield Sander). however, many students will not likely spend their last
two years taking courses in the subject they handled most dismally. With this statement in mind, lawmakers are

3.
not pinpointing a solution. The Arizona Department of Education also admits that the
scores were low because the students took the test lightly. If this was true, then why did the first group of
students who took the actual test when it finally counted also do poorly? Something is definitely wrong and the
state needs to address all of these issues instead of simply making assumptions because no one is benefiting from
this test.
The AIMS test has caused, "Educators, parents and students to start pointing fingers at one another in
the aftermath of poor scores on the first round of the state's high school graduation test" (Maureen O' Connell,
1). There is a great deal of tension among these groups which is just creating more of a controversy about the
test. Unfortunately, the Arizona Department of Education has not approached this issue in a positive manner.
Laura Penny who is chief of policy and communications makes a disrespectful remark by saying, "We've got lots of
kids dropping out of school without an AIMS test. Without such a test, she pointed out, schools are more likely
to promote students based on seat time" (Maureen O' Connell, 1). As a student, I feel appalled by such a remark.
There are obviously students that do not care, but there are just too many students that feel passionate about
their education and do try extremely hard. For this notion, it is not fair for the students that t!
ry hard in school to be told by Laura Penny or anyone else that they are basically there to fill up the room.
Lawmakers make another inappropriate remark by saying, "Schools should be teaching students well enough to meet
basic standards" (Sander, Rhonda Bodfield, 3). By the lawmakers saying this, teachers are probably outraged
because they are apparently being the ones blamed. Many teachers dedicate a great deal of time for their
students and do not deserve being criticized for low test results. Instead, they should be praised for their
efforts to cooperate with the AIMS test. Another thing to consider is that not every student has the ability to
pass the test, so it seems absurd that teachers are told that they are not doing their job.

4.
The Arizona Department of Education tries to defend the AIMS test by surveying
students and adults, but only make the issue even more heated. They tested the students and teachers and
displayed their scores in The Arizona Daily Star. Even though all of the scores were quite good, they definitely
did not fool the public into believing that the AIMS test was a breeze. The reason why the public was so annoyed
by the article was because the students tested were from University High School, a school geared towards gifted
students and the adults that were tested held extremely prestigious jobs. Testing these people definitely
defeated the purpose when trying to show that the test was not as difficult as people said it was, because it was
obvious that they would pass. If the Arizona Department of Education wanted to prove to the public that the AIMS
test was not too difficult, they should have surveyed and tested students throughout the Tucson area. This would
be the most accurate way to prove their point. To make matters worse, the ones surveyed made co!
mments that were offensive and not necessary. Shira Pinnas who is a sophomore at University High School makes
the remark, "It was really easy, especially the math sections. I think a sixth-grader could pass it easily"
(Tapia, Sarah Tully, 1). She continues, "If you don't know how to do that, there's no way you're going to
survive in the real world" (Tapia, 1). As a student, I am offended and in disbelief that Shira could be so
shallow. I can admit that I took the math practice section of the AIMS test and failed it, but I would like her
to explain how I received an A in my college calculus class. Shira is like the Arizona Department of Education,
saying untrue things that are just angering many people. Gary McCulley who is a Rocket Scientist comments, "In
my opinion, it's on the lower end of acceptable. It's very close to being such that even if you could pass this
test, I would assert that the people won't be ready for life after high school" (Tapia, 3). First of all!
, it almost seems like a joke that a Rocket Scientist was chosen to take this practice test. Secondly, his
remarks were untrue and only

weakens the Arizona Department of Education's reasoning that the AIMS test is
appropriate.
Reasons to do away with the AIMS test definitely outweigh reasons to keep the test by far. The idea to
introduce this test was a mistake and the way that it has been presented is not promising for the future high
school students. Their is just no justification for having a test that is nearly impossible for the average high
school student
to pass. The Arizona Board of Education is constantly trying to find solutions to eliminate large failure rates,
but none are agreeable for the students or teachers yet. The latest effort by the Arizona Board of Education to
protect the AIMS test was to avoid displaying test scores, but this has just caused more problems. Larry
Williams, who oversees Tucson Unified School District's high schools comments, "Principals need scores for their
schools so they know their strengths and weaknesses. That way, they can better prepare the students who must
pass the AIMS to graduate" (Tapia, 2). This comment discredits the AIMS test by proving that the Arizona Board
of Education is not being fair. I personally feel that it is irrelevant to keep trying to find solutions in
making the AIMS test better because no one will ever benefit. From past experiences and vigorous research, I
have yet to be convinced that one test can measure whether a student has the necessary abilities to cont!
inue their education further. The AIMS test should be dismissed as soon as possible to prevent more public
humiliation.

---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
JordanO says, "do we now peer responce to it"
RyanD I'm going to re-post my text
JordanO says, "ok"
MeganG says, "yes we do peer edit it w/the criteria that was pasted first""
-----------------------------------RyanD-----------------------------------
Ryan Dalton
Eng. 101 Sec. 6
Draft Essay 2

Two Thumbs Down for the AIMS Test

---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
nicki guest arrives from Mt. Lemmon Classroom
nicki guest says, " what are we doing""
nicki guest leaves for Mt. Lemmon Classroom
----------------------------------MeganG-----------------------------------
Conquering The Wage War

Why are women still being paid unequal salaries to men in similar jobs?

             Even today, in the year 2000, women are not given equal rights. This is a
   sad and scary thought, yet it is fact. Women in many different fields are being paid
   insufficiently to that of their male colleagues with similar or same titles and job
   descriptions. It is estimated that women in management positions earn about 74%
   of the salary of men in management positions. Women holding executive positions
   earn only about 68% of the salary of men holding executive positions. This topic
   doesn't so much concern me being a young woman going into business, more so,
   it bothers me. I feel there is no explanation, relevance or justification for the
   problem. In 1963 a federal law was passed under John F. Kennedy guaranteeing
   equal pay to all people no matter which ethnicity, race or gender. This law is the
   1963 Equal Pay Act. Is there any excuse that over thirty years later, women are
   still not equally paid? The issue is so prevalent, yet so greatly ignored, even by
   women. Much progress has been made in attempt to improve women's wages.
   Though the 15% increase in women's salaries over the past twenty years compared
   to what their male colleagues make is an impressive improvement, it is still not
   enough. Women should be paid equally to men, no reason can justify otherwise.

             This is a problem that exists not only in the United States, but also in
   Canada and other countries. Workingwomen in Canada are actually worse off in
   comparison to their male colleagues than the workingwomen in the United States.
   On average, women in Canada earn only 62% to the salaries of their male
   colleagues holding the same position and having the same level of education.
   Canadian women are beginning to follow form to that of women in the United
   States. They are bringing light to the situation and fighting for equal pay as well
   as equal rights. Not much progress has been made yet, but there is still hope.
   With an optimistic outlook, Canadian women will soon be rewarded with equal
   rights, in this earning equal salary to Canadian men. Many attempts are being
   made by female organizations to fight the wage war; hopefully the attempts will be
   recognized and rewarded.

             We have come a long way as far as improving women's salaries, but not
   long enough. In the past twenty years, the average salary of the American female
   has jumped from 59% of what a male makes to 74%. (These numbers are based
   on reports by the U.S. Census Bureau in 1999.) A 15% increase is definitely a
   great increase, but that is only on average, some women in professions such as
   sales, still only make 55% of the salaries of their male colleagues. In the 1999
   20th annual salary survey, in Working Woman magazine the general public can
   clearly see that women's salaries are significantly less than those of men in the
   same job "in almost every position of every industry" ("Getting Even", Working
   Woman July/August 1999; p.44). Women's salaries are insignificant to men's even
   in positions dominated by women. Nursing and secretarial work are both examples
   of jobs dominated by women in which men earn significantly higher salaries. A
   male administrative assistant (secretary) earns about $31,356 a year, whereas a
   female administrative assistant earns about $24,856 a year. A male nurse earns
   about $59,825 a year and a female nurse earns about $52,193 a year. This
   leading to the question: Do we ever get to measure up? The American constitution
   preaches equal rights and opportunities for all, yet society continues to contradict
   the equality and freedom preached, by discriminating in nonsense ways.

             Many women are beginning to realize this discrimination is going on and
   that they don't have to sit back and watch it happen. Female athletes are among
   these women starting to speak out about unequal pay. The women in the WNBA
   (Women's National Basketball Association) are paid only about 50% to the salaries
   of the men in the NBA, which is ridiculous. Granted the NBA does bring in a lot
   more profit from ticket sales and merchandise sales, the salaries should still be
   negotiated. Seriously, does anyone really need to be paid $4 million a year for
   playing basketball? Maybe the salaries could be compromised: instead the WNBA
   and the NBA could just be the NBA. Combining the two into just the National
   Basketball Association would be an option for resolving the wage gap. Female
   tennis players have also protested to tournaments such as the Wimbledon Open
   and the French Open. These tournaments don't reward equal prize money to men
   and women. Men are rewarded more. This seems strange: you can win more if
   you're a man, then you can win if you're a woman. This has absolutely no
   justification.

             Women employed by universities and colleges are much more fortunate
   than most women in the United States. Women holding positions as professors,
   deans, presidents, etc. in universities and colleges are paid close to equal, equal or
   even more than that of their male colleagues. This form follows in the veterinarian
   field. Just ten years ago, female veterinarians were only paid half the salaries of
   their male colleagues. Women spoke up and are now paid even more than men in
   the veterinary field. I feel this is wrong also. What we need is equal rights.
   Women don't need to be paid higher salaries than men, that just continues the
   inequality and contradicts what women are fighting for, which is equal rights.
   However, this is an example of what could happen if women speak up for their
   rights.

             Women, too often, don't speak up for their rights. Women are often scared
   that they will lose their job rather than improve their salary, which prevents them
   from speaking out. Some women also fear they will create tension or are just too
   timid to stand up for the rights they deserve. In some cases women aren't aware
   of the wage gap or the rights guaranteed to them, which also prevents them from
   speaking up.

             There are many efforts we could make in our communities in attempt to
   resolve this problem. First of all, we can hold informative workshops to inform
   women of the rights put before them. Women need to speak up. The women who
   are aware of what is going on need to stand up for what they deserve, otherwise
   nothing will happen. Employers need to be aware of the equal rights laws and
   practice them for the benefit and reputation of their company. The law could also
   make more of an attempt to enforce the laws rather than ignore them.

             Although subtle improvements have been made in narrowing the wage gap,
   much progress is still needed. The United States needs to come to terms with
   creating and maintaining equality for the 21st century. Women need to take part
   as well. They need to take a stand and demand the rights guaranteed to them.
   Many women hesitate in fear of losing their job. Women should not have this
   fear. As a nation at whole we need to come together to improve equality and how
   we live and work in the world today. Women should be paid equally to men, no
   reason can justify otherwise.

Conquering The Wage War

Why are women still being paid unequal salaries to men in similar jobs?

Megan Erin Gaffney

English 101 - 06

Essay 2

March 28, 2000

Works Cited

     1.Sports Challenge: Equal Pay for Equal Play By: Strassel, Kimberly A.   The
        Wall Street Journal (Eastern Edition) January 21, 2000, Volume 235 Issue
        16   p.W13
     2.Women's Earnings: An Overview (sex differences) By: Bowler, Mary.
        Monthly Labor Review, December 1999, Volume 122 Issue 12   p.13
     3.Women Continue to Work for Less Pay By: Endicott, R. Craig; Advertising
        Age, December 6, 1999, Volume 70 Issue 50   p.102
     4.No Pay, no Play By: Rubin, James Peter; Coplan, Jill Hamburg; Working
        Woman, September 1999, Volume 24 Issue 8   p.16
     5.Getting Even By: Krotz, Joanna L.; Working Woman, August 1999, Volume
        24 Issue 7   p.42
     6.The '99 Salary Survey By: Stewart, Janet Kidd; Working Woman, August
        1999, Volume 24 Issue 7   p.29
     7.There's Something About Julia By: McDowell, Jeanne; Working Woman,
        August 1999, Volume 24, Issue 7   p.52
     8.The 1996 Salary Survey (no author); Working Woman, February 1996,
        Volume 21 Issue 2   p.27

---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
RyanD For some reason, it is not posting my entire essay. I'll try it later.
pablo has arrived.
pablo says, "hi. how's it going in here?"
pablo says, "if you can't see what you're typing and nothing seems to be happening, type "@abort" and hit
enter.""
RyanD not bad
pablo says, "that will take you out of @paste mode."
pablo nods
pablo says, "i'll be back in a bit."
pablo goes out.
RyanD Megan, Can you tell me where your thesis is?
MeganG says, "ummmm...it needs work, it's kinda the last 3 sentences in the first paragraph... oops!""
nicki guest arrives from Mt. Lemmon Classroom
nicki guest leaves for Mt. Lemmon Classroom
RyanD If you want, you could take out the sentence " Much progress has been made in attempt to improve women's
wages." If you took this out, the reader would really feel upset by this situation. I'm not sure though.
MeganG says, "k, thanks!""
RyanD I liked your example with men getting paid more than women. It really makes the reader believe that
something needs to be done!
RyanD Great essay. Do you have any questions about any part of the essay?
MeganG says, "is the context okay? like w/all the criteria?""
RyanD   You definitely had a good format. Gook intro., body, and conclusion.
RyanD   I likes how you mentioned ways of improvement in your conclusion instead of just pointing a finger at the
problem.
MeganG says, "okay, good. Thank you!""
RyanD Do you have any suggestions, Jordan?
RyanD You might want to cite where you got the stats on women getting 50% less than men in the NBA
MeganG says, "okay""
RyanD I really don't know what else to say because it looks well thought out and complete.
MeganG says, "okay, good stuff""
RyanD I'll try to post just half of my essay this time. It will be the last half of it.
JordanO oks.
-----------------------------------RyanD-----------------------------------
The AIMS test has caused, "Educators, parents and students to start pointing fingers at one another in the
aftermath of poor scores on the first round of the state's high school graduation test" (Maureen O' Connell, 1).
There is a great deal of tension among these groups which is just creating more of a controversy about the test.
Unfortunately, the Arizona Department of Education has not approached this issue in a positive manner. Laura
Penny who is chief of policy and communications makes a disrespectful remark by saying, "We've got lots of kids
dropping out of school without an AIMS test. Without such a test, she pointed out, schools are more likely to
promote students based on seat time" (Maureen O' Connell, 1). As a student, I feel appalled by such a remark.
There are obviously students that do not care, but there are just too many students that feel passionate about
their education and do try extremely hard. For this notion, it is not fair for the students that tr!
y hard in school to be told by Laura Penny or anyone else that they are basically there to fill up the room.
Lawmakers make another inappropriate remark by saying, "Schools should be teaching students well enough to meet
basic standards" (Sander, Rhonda Bodfield, 3). By the lawmakers saying this, teachers are probably outraged
because they are apparently being the ones blamed. Many teachers dedicate a great deal of time for their
students and do not deserve being criticized for low test results. Instead, they should be praised for their
efforts to cooperate with the AIMS test. Another thing to consider is that not every student has the ability to
pass the test, so it seems absurd that teachers are told that they are not doing their job.

4.
        The Arizona Department of Education tries to defend the AIMS test by surveying
students and adults, but only make the issue even more heated. They tested the students and teachers and
displayed their scores in The Arizona Daily Star. Even though all of the scores were quite good, they definitely
did not fool the public into believing that the AIMS test was a breeze. The reason why the public was so annoyed
by the article was because the students tested were from University High School, a school geared towards gifted
students and the adults that were tested held extremely prestigious jobs. Testing these people definitely
defeated the purpose when trying to show that the test was not as difficult as people said it was, because it was
obvious that they would pass. If the Arizona Department of Education wanted to prove to the public that the AIMS
test was not too difficult, they should have surveyed and tested students throughout the Tucson area. This would
be the most accurate way to prove their point. To make matters worse, the ones surveyed made co!
mments that were offensive and not necessary. Shira Pinnas who is a sophomore at University High School makes
the remark, "It was really easy, especially the math sections. I think a sixth-grader could pass it easily"
(Tapia, Sarah Tully, 1). She continues, "If you don't know how to do that, there's no way you're going to
survive in the real world" (Tapia, 1). As a student, I am offended and in disbelief that Shira could be so
shallow. I can admit that I took the math practice section of the AIMS test and failed it, but I would like her
to explain how I received an A in my college calculus class. Shira is like the Arizona Department of Education,
saying untrue things that are just angering many people. Gary McCulley who is a Rocket Scientist comments, "In
my opinion, it's on the lower end of acceptable. It's very close to being such that even if you could pass this
test, I would assert that the people won't be ready for life after high school" (Tapia, 3). First of all!
, it almost seems like a joke that a Rocket Scientist was chosen to take this practice test. Secondly, his
remarks were untrue and only

---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
MeganG says, "you forgot quotation marks on the end of your second quote""
pablo has arrived.
RyanD   Do you have any suggestions Jordan?
pablo says, "remember that essay 2 & the unit 2 portfolio are due on thursday."
JordanO says, "not yet still reading"
RyanD Or Paul?
pablo says, "keep on revising!"
pablo says, "yes?"
pablo listens to ryan
RyanD OK
pablo nods
pablo goes out.
RyanD How does the conclusion sound?
JordanO says, "i believe the third sentance in the conclusion should be there not their"
RyanD We should all get A's on this paper, right.
JordanO says, "i agree"
RyanD You're right Jordan. I was just looking at that exact sentence.
RyanD   Jordan...Do you want to post your essay now?
RyanD Are you still there Megan?
JordanO says, "i broght the wrong classes essay when i came from my dorn to here cause i had trouble"
JordanO says, "i only have my trad 104 essay"
RyanD do you want us to read it anyways?
JordanO says, "if you want"
JordanO says, "ill try and post it"
RyanD Sure...Go for it.
JordanO says, "Jordan O'Brien"
JordanO says, "In order then that the social compact may not be an empty formula, "
JordanO says, "did it work"
RyanD no
RyanD Try again
JordanO says, "how do i post it"
RyanD First copy it in the microsoft word area.
JordanO says, "ok"
RyanD   Then type @paste and press return in the old pueblo moo.
MeganG says, "ryan, it's really well written. I didn't see anything that you haven't seen already to fix""
RyanD   Sweet.
JordanO says, "i cant get it to paste"
RyanD OK I'll try it again
JordanO says, "still"
pablo has arrived.
pablo says, "did everyone get a chance to get feedback on their papers?"
MeganG says, "yes, thank you""
RyanD yes
pablo says, "any questions about essay 2?"
RyanD not that I can think of.
JordanO says, "i like meeting here"
RyanD same here
pablo says, "was it helpful?"
JordanO says, "its fun and different"
MeganG says, "yes very""
pablo says, "good."
RyanD yes.
pablo says, "some students had serious trouble, but hopefully we'll do it again."
pablo says, "see you folks on tuesday."
JordanO says, "i hope so"
RyanD Jordan, did you get that far yet?
pablo says, "oops thursday."
pablo waves
pablo goes out.
JordanO says, "yes but it tells me to type in @abort"
RyanD Alright
RyanD OK
JordanO says, "what comes next"
RyanD Now press return again and Type "." and then press return again
MeganG (asleep) has disconnected.
RyanD (asleep) has disconnected.
JordanO says, " i think class is ending"
JordanO (asleep) has disconnected.
pablo has arrived.
pablo goes out.
The housekeeper arrives to cart MeganG off to bed.
The housekeeper arrives to cart RyanD off to bed.
The housekeeper arrives to cart JordanO off to bed.

Discussion Room 4

-- Start log: Tuesday, March 28, 2000 8:16:08 am OldPuebloMOO time --

JR (asleep) has disconnected.
JR has connected.
MemoB guest says, "still reading your paper"
JosephC says, "hi"
JosephC says, "is anyone else going to put their essay up""
------------------------------------JR-------------------------------------
Worker In The United States

When people think of the United States they think about the land of opportunity, a free country. Many
people come to the United States to be free. The main reason people come to the United States is to
get a job. Most of these people come from Mexico. More than half of them come here by crossing the
boarder illegally. Everyday people try to cross the boarder illegally in order to get better jobs in Arizona.
They do this because there is a better opportunity to get a job and the pay is better. Most of these
people do not make it to Arizona because they get caught by the boarder patrol. But one group did
make it to Arizona and they did it legally. About twenty people a day come here to Tucson from
Nogales, Sonora. The reason is that they are being trained by the Weiser Lock company so that they
can work for Weiser Lock in Mexico. Even though this seems like a good idea there is a bit of
controversy in this issue. Some of the issues were discussed in an article written in The Arizona Daily
Star By Tim Steller. The article was called, Mexicans in training at Weiser Lock here get subminimum
wage. The main issue is about how much they are getting paid. Everyone who comes to the United
States from Mexico looks forward to the pay increase, but in this case the pay stays the same as if they
were still in Mexico.

When people come from Mexico to the United States to get jobs its because they want to get paid
more money for doing the same amount of work than they would get working in Mexico. While the
twenty or so workers come to Tucson for their training they get paid as little as $1.25 per hour or as
much as $3.90 which is way less than the American minimum wage at $5.75. I think that this is wrong.
Even though that they are not citizens they are working legally on American soil which means that they
should get paid the American minimum wage. But according to the article written in The Arizona Daily
Star by Tim Steller, he states that, "the practice of training employees in the United States for Mexican
wages is common and legal, as long as each worker has an appropriate visa". It is argued that just
because they cross the boarder that does not mean more pay. Now I understand this statement but the
laws for paying workers in Mexico should not be in effect to the same people here in the United States.
Like I said before they should get paid the American minimum wage.

Even though they are not citizens of the US they are still working under the US rules. It was said in the
article, "As long as each worker has an appropriate visa, and as long as the company doesn't break the
terms of the visa, foreign employees can be trained here for foreign wages, said experts". There are
many requirements for the visa. Some are the training must not take place in the foreign worker's home
country, the training must be for the employee pursuing employment outside of the United States, and
the worker must not be placed in a position where US workers are usually employed. Although it is
common for Mexican employees to be sent to other countries they usually hold higher skilled jobs in
their plants. Sandi Morris, the company's director of human resources, defended bringing Mexican
workers here and paying them Mexican wages is legal and necessary. She said that they are in training
not performing work. So with this comment the American employee who is in training is getting paid
over the minimum wage for training and not doing the work so it should apply to everyone. Nine
workers were interviewed and eight said that they performed jobs while in Tucson similar to the work
they do in Mexico : assembling latches and locks among other tasks.

My point that I am trying to make is that the workers are not in Mexico and the same rules should not
apply in Arizona as they do in Mexico. For example, would if a worker comes to Arizona to be trained.
While he or she is here he commits a crime. What would they do? Would he be responsible for
Mexico's laws or the United States' laws. Of course he would be under the US laws for committing a
crime. So if these laws will apply to a person so should the laws about being paid.

But on the other side of this issue if these workers did get paid by the US rules every other rule would
also have to apply. For example, just like everyone else they would get deductions from their pay
checks and it would go to American Social Security instead of Mexican Social Security. This would
have to happen even though they are not US citizens because they got paid by the US laws and they
would have to follow through. Another problem would be if one company did it so would another
company have to do it and this could create major problems. Yeah there are many reasons why they
should not get paid more money. One solution that they could do is for the company to pay the
Mexicans workers the equivalent of the American minimum wage in pesos. This could be a solution for
the money taken out for American Social Security. It is only fair that they get the same pay. If it were
another situation the rules would be under the American rules. Many people can argue both ways but I
think what they are doing now is wrong.

In conclusion anyone who comes to the US for any kind of work should get paid by the US laws. Its the
least they could do for these people traveling for three hours a day for three weeks. If someone from
Tucson went to train someone in Mexico it would be better because their pay will stay the same and will
not go down because people can only get a pay increase not a decrease during any kind of job. I think
that when they come to the US they should get paid the American minimum wage.

---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
pablo has arrived.
pablo says, "hi -- how are you two doing?"
pablo says, "if you can't see what you're typing and nothing seems to be happening, type "@abort" and hit
enter.""
pablo says, "oops, you three i mean."
MemoB guest says, "what"
pablo says, "how is the editing going?"
JosephC says, "I am reading Jr's paper""
MemoB guest says, "Im still reading"
pablo nods
pablo says, "ok!"
pablo goes out.
nicki guest arrives from Mt. Lemmon Classroom
nicki guest leaves for Mt. Lemmon Classroom
nicki guest arrives from Mt. Lemmon Classroom
nicki guest leaves for Mt. Lemmon Classroom
JosephC says, "Jr your essay was good. But I think the minimun wage is $5,15, not & $5.75. You need to cite your
sources, and the top few sentances of paragrph 5 is a little confusing.""
JR says, "ok"
MemoB guest says, "i think its 5.25"
JR says, "does anyone know?"
JR says, "I know its not 5.15"
JosephC says, " i sure it is $5.15""
JosephC says, " unless it has gone up and nobody old me about it""
--------------------------------MemoB guest--------------------------------
---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
pablo has arrived.
pablo says, "remember that essay 2 and the unit 2 portfolio are due on thursday."
pablo says, "has everyone @pasted their essay? who's are you working on now?"
pablo says, "oops, i mean "whose"!"
pablo can hear a pin drop
pablo turns up his hearing aid.
pablo makes marks down some journal grades in his gradebook.
pablo goes out.
JosephC says, " nobody else has posted their essay yet"
MemoB guest says, "I tried but it wont paste"
JosephC says, "see if this helps highlight your essay and left click and hit copy then hit cut. Type in @paste
and return. then put a period"." and hit return again."
MemoB guest says, "I cant open the Microsoft word"
JosephC says, " have you tried opening the Microsoft Word that is on the desk top."
JR says, "i had the same problem"
JosephC says, " I should have stayed home and done this. I would of gotten a lot more sleep."
JR says, "me 2"
pablo has arrived.
pablo says, "did everyone get a chance for feedback on their papers?"
MemoB guest says, "hey pablo I cant open the word document"
JosephC says, " Memo B is having trouble."
pablo says, "ok what does it say, memo?"
MemoB guest says, "there is not enough memory"
MemoB guest says, "to open the document"
JR (asleep) has disconnected.
pablo says, "you would have to close netscape, then open word, copy the text, then close word & log onto the moo,
then paste it in."
pablo says, "see you on thursday."
pablo goes out.
MemoB guest has disconnected.
The housekeeper arrives to remove MemoB guest.
JosephC (asleep) has disconnected.
pablo has arrived.
pablo goes out.
The housekeeper arrives to cart JR off to bed.
The housekeeper arrives to cart JosephC off to bed.

Discussion Room 5

-- Start log: Tuesday, March 28, 2000 8:16:11 am OldPuebloMOO time --

AaronB says, "are you still having trouble pasting"
----------------------------------Galvin-----------------------------------
The Border Patrol Conflicts

        There are many Border Patrol conflicts that have been going on for many years. These conflicts range
from violating peoples rights through murder. One may ask oneself, "Does these conflicts have a positive or
negative effect on the Border Patrol?" Obviously, its a negative effect. There are many complaints of Border
Patrolmen harassing people while doing their search. These people feel that they are being violated and that
they should be treated this way. There were also several cases in the past that has been very controversial.
These cases consisted of Patrolmen gunning down innocent immigrants, such as the Banuelos case and in many other
cases as well. There are other cases in which the Patrolmen are accused of not giving immigrants food or water
when they are captured or giving them medical attention when they are hurt. Now these cases have a strong impact
on the community. This takes away the trust that the people have in the Border Patrol and this makes the pe!
ople lose their sense of security. One would think, "If a Border Patrol officer had shot an innocent victim, an
officer could shoot him or her when they are stopped for an inspection." Now that is a very scary thought. This
is why the communities throughout the southwest are complaining, because there is a sense of concern about the
situation. It seems as if when the days go by, things are getting worse and worse with the Border Patrol. It is
just a terrible thing to have when something that involves the government isnt doing their jobs properly because
it not only affects the government, but the U.S. in a whole as well. There are many reports of human rights
violations that occurred along the United States Mexico border. These reports that they collect contain cruel
treatment along the border that stretches about 2,000 miles. Some of these reports that they have compiled are
not official but most of them were. There are many rights that they officers must give these!
illegal immigrants. And in most cases these officers do not give these people the rights that they have to
exercise. These rights range from that, "No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading
treatment or punishment through sleeping accommodations" (Amnesty International). A big problem is that the
officers dont tell the immigrants that are captured their rights, so that is why they would tend to take
advantage of these people which is just terrible.
        In one incident, on February 14, 1997, an immigrant by the name of Daniel Biurquiz crossed the border
illegally. When he tried to run away from the Border Patrol, he was captured later and was beaten by them with
their batons. He was later taken to a station in Calexico, and wasnt photographed or finger-printed because he
(Biurquiz), believed that the border patrol would have gotten in trouble because of the terrible condition that
he was in after he had gotten beat up. Another incident involving Sergio Rodriguez on June 18, 1996 was brought
forward. In this case, Rodriguez claims that the Patrol officers yelled at him to stop. So he obeyed their
commands but they responded to his actions by beating him. He then said that he fell on his back where he was
repeatedly kicked. Yet another incident reports that on March 28, 1997, Juan Garcia was ran over by one of the
Border Patrols vehicles. As he was lying in bushes trying to hide from the Border Patrol, "Garcia said he !
was convinced that the driver knew they were there. Garcia saw two agents in the vehicle, which headed straight
for him. The left front and rear tires passed over his body, breaking his hip" (Amnesty International). On top
of this, the vehicle speed up kept going and did not return. In the International Covenant on Civil and
Political Right, Article 7, it clearly states, "No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or
degrading treatment or punishment" (Amnesty International). Also in Article 10.1, it says, "All persons deprived
of their liberty shall be treated with humanity and with respect for the inherent dignity of the human person"
(Amnesty International). Now after going through these three cases, was the Border Patrol obeying the laws and
rules that they go by? No, they had totally broken the law and did not exercise the correct operations that they
had to go through. This is just totally wrong and inhuman. Breaking this rule is really bad, becau!
se if one is breaking this law, one knows definitely that a lot more law breaking is going on. Because these are
the main rights that people have and it protects them from experienced a large amount of pain and anguish. For
the Border Patrol to be doing these kinds of crazy acts its just uncalled for and totally wrong. How can they
gain trust throughout the community if they are treating other people inhuman like running them over with their
vehicle or beating them up? It is just a disgrace to hear something like this and that is why the Border Patrol
needs a change.
        Here is another right that people have, which is Principle 6 of the United Nations Body of Principles for
the Protection of All Person under Any Form of Detention or Imprisonment. This principle states, "No person
under any form of detention or imprisonment shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading
treatment or punishment. No circumstances whatever may be invoked as a justification for torture or other cruel,
inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment" (Amnesty International). An incident of this rule being broken
dealt with Pedro Garcia on May 16, 1997. When the Border Patrol officer made him stand against the wall, legs
spread wide apart, he thought that he was just going to be searched. Instead, he was punched in the ribs and he
had his armed twisted. The Patrol Officer yelled in Spanish, "Do you want me to break your arm?" (Amnesty
International). Another incident was when Andres Hurtado on April 24, 1997 was pushed to the ground and was cau!
ght up in cactus spines. Hurtado was being assaulted while the Patrol officers yelled, "Get up you mother
f@#*ers, you Goddamn wetbacks, dumb @sses!" (Amnesty International). Now with performing these actions, were
these officers performing their jobs correctly? Of course not! It is clear that they broke the law and now they
should be disciplined for it. It is just wrong for those who are in authority to be breaking the law because
they are the ones who are supposed to be enforcing the law.
        Another major right that immigrants have proper medical treatment. In the United Nations Body of
Principles it states, "A proper medical examination shall be offered to a detained or imprisoned person as
promptly as possible after his admission to the place of detention or imprisonment, and thereafter medical care
and treatment shall be provided whenever necessary" (Amnesty International). Here is a some case where this
principle was not exercised. On April 5, 1997, an elderly Mexican woman was brought into the hospital. In the
hospital x-rays showed that she had a broken leg and that her leg needed to be in a cast. But before she could
have gotten any medical treatment, a couple of men came in and said that she was, "being discharged." But one of
the nurses told these men that this lady could not walk. However, these men took her over the international
border line and "dumped her there with her two children" (Amnesty International). According to the nurses, this
was !
not the first time that this had happened. Is this type of actions human? No it is not and its just terrible to
treat someone so mean even though they are immigrants and have performed an illegal action. It still doesnt give
the Border Patrol an excuse to be treating these people unfairly.
        "Every prisoner shall be provided by the administration at the usual hours with food of nutritional value
adequate for health and strength, of wholesome quality and well prepared and served. Drinking water shall be
available to every prisoner whenever he needs it" according to the United Nations Standard Minimum Rules for the
Treatment of Prisoners (Amnesty International). This right, mainly says that those in authority must provide
food to prisoners. Here are some cases in which the Border Patrol did not obey this rule. In August, 1997, "the
INS Western Regional Director, Gustavo De La Vina, gave assurances that all Border Patrol Vehicles would be
required to carry canisters of water in the El Centro and Arizona sectors" (Amnesty International). But still
there were many reports that immigrants were still being denied from having water to drink. Also during 1997,
there were many reports that immigrants were being denied water when they got to the detention center when !
they were caught. What was really bad was that in some detention centers, they had their water fountains right
next to the toilets, which were very smelly. Some people who were not given access to water suffered from
dehydration and heat exhaustion.
        In all these cases, it seems as if the Border Patrol is not doing their jobs correctly. They are not
treating immigrants fairly. They treat them cruel, are often tortured, are denied any medical attention and are
not provided food and water. Does this seem fair to treat these people in this way? Would it be morally right
to be acting this way towards these people? Many of these immigrants dont know how to exercise their rights
because they dont know what to do mainly because they dont speak English. To not have this happen any longer,
the Border Patrol officers should have a translator that tells these people their rights. They should also have
a supervisor at the detention center at all times so that that person knows whats going on at all times. It is a
shame to hear and see this happening in our country. And these cases were reported lately. One would think that
things would get better as the years goes by, but that is not the case with the Border Patrol. It see!
ms as if it is getting worse and worse as the days go by. The community and many other people need to get
together and try to make improvements. With the peoples opinions, the Border Patrol should have a good idea in
what areas they need to improve on and what they can do to improve themselves. The United States is known to be
one of the best countries to live in and having a part of the government operating in this in-human matter is
just wrong. There needs to be a change.

Works Cited

Alvarado, Beth & Barbara Cully. Writing As Re-Vision. Simon & Shuster Custom Publishing, 1998.

Amnesty International Report. "United States of America: Human Rights Concerns in the Border Region with
Mexico. May 1998. http://www.amnesty.org/ailib/aipub/1998/25100398.htm

"Grand Jury doesnt indict Marin in border conflict" CNN U.S. News. 14, August 1997.
http://cnn.com/US/9708/14/border.shooting/.

Kidder, Mary. Border Patrol. Boston, Houghton Mifflin Company, 1938.

Odens, Peter R. The Desert Trackers: (men of the Border Patrol). Yuma, Ariz.: P. Odens, 1976.

---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
Galvin says, "here we go!"
Galvin says, "did you guys get it?"
manders says, "yeah"
Galvin says, "cool"
AaronB says, "yeah but not all of the first part"
Galvin says, "whoa, no kidding. what happened to it?"
Galvin says, "let me try to do it again"
manders says, "are we suppose to look blackboard for directions"
AaronB says, "Galvin try to cut and paste it paragraph by paragraph"
manders says, "oh, ok"
manders says, "lookblackboard"
----------------------------------Galvin-----------------------------------
The Border Patrol Conflicts

Works Cited

Alvarado, Beth & Barbara Cully. Writing As Re-Vision. Simon & Shuster Custom Publishing, 1998.

Amnesty International Report. "United States of America: Human Rights Concerns in the Border Region with
Mexico. May 1998. http://www.amnesty.org/ailib/aipub/1998/25100398.htm

"Grand Jury doesnt indict Marin in border conflict" CNN U.S. News. 14, August 1997.
http://cnn.com/US/9708/14/border.shooting/.

Kidder, Mary. Border Patrol. Boston, Houghton Mifflin Company, 1938.

Odens, Peter R. The Desert Trackers: (men of the Border Patrol). Yuma, Ariz.: P. Odens, 1976.

---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
Galvin says, "ok. I'll do that"
AaronB says, "how does your first paragraph start"
AaronB says, "does it start with In... "
----------------------------------Galvin-----------------------------------

        There are many Border Patrol conflicts that have been going on for many years. These conflicts range
from violating peoples rights through murder. One may ask oneself, "Does these conflicts have a positive or
negative effect on the Border Patrol?" Obviously, its a negative effect. There are many complaints of Border
Patrolmen harassing people while doing their search. These people feel that they are being violated and that
they should be treated this way. There were also several cases in the past that has been very controversial.
These cases consisted of Patrolmen gunning down innocent immigrants, such as the Banuelos case and in many other
cases as well. There are other cases in which the Patrolmen are accused of not giving immigrants food or water
when they are captured or giving them medical attention when they are hurt. Now these cases have a strong impact
on the community. This takes away the trust that the people have in the Border Patrol and this makes the pe!
ople lose their sense of security. One would think, "If a Border Patrol officer had shot an innocent victim, an
officer could shoot him or her when they are stopped for an inspection." Now that is a very scary thought. This
is why the communities throughout the southwest are complaining, because there is a sense of concern about the
situation. It seems as if when the days go by, things are getting worse and worse with the Border Patrol. It is
just a terrible thing to have when something that involves the government isnt doing their jobs properly because
it not only affects the government, but the U.S. in a whole as well. There are many reports of human rights
violations that occurred along the United States Mexico border. These reports that they collect contain cruel
treatment along the border that stretches about 2,000 miles. Some of these reports that they have compiled are
not official but most of them were. There are many rights that they officers must give these!
illegal immigrants. And in most cases these officers do not give these people the rights that they have to
exercise. These rights range from that, "No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading
treatment or punishment through sleeping accommodations" (Amnesty International). A big problem is that the
officers dont tell the immigrants that are captured their rights, so that is why they would tend to take
advantage of these people which is just terrible.
---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
AaronB says, "thats better"
Galvin says, "ok. That's the first paragraph"
AaronB says, "begginning the proofread"
Galvin says, "do you want me to paste the other paragraphs too? Cause it with the part that i pasted previously"
Galvin says, "ok"
manders says, " yeah"
manders says, "look blackboard"
pablo has arrived.
pablo says, "hi folks -- how goes the revision?"
pablo says, "if you can't see what you're typing and nothing seems to be happening, type "@abort" and hit
enter.""
pablo says, "everyone ok? any problems or questions?"
manders says, "are we suppose to just proofread the essay"
----------------------------------Galvin-----------------------------------
        In one incident, on February 14, 1997, an immigrant by the name of Daniel Biurquiz crossed the border
illegally. When he tried to run away from the Border Patrol, he was captured later and was beaten by them with
their batons. He was later taken to a station in Calexico, and wasnt photographed or finger-printed because he
(Biurquiz), believed that the border patrol would have gotten in trouble because of the terrible condition that
he was in after he had gotten beat up. Another incident involving Sergio Rodriguez on June 18, 1996 was brought
forward. In this case, Rodriguez claims that the Patrol officers yelled at him to stop. So he obeyed their
commands but they responded to his actions by beating him. He then said that he fell on his back where he was
repeatedly kicked. Yet another incident reports that on March 28, 1997, Juan Garcia was ran over by one of the
Border Patrols vehicles. As he was lying in bushes trying to hide from the Border Patrol, "Garcia said he !
was convinced that the driver knew they were there. Garcia saw two agents in the vehicle, which headed straight
for him. The left front and rear tires passed over his body, breaking his hip" (Amnesty International). On top
of this, the vehicle speed up kept going and did not return. In the International Covenant on Civil and
Political Right, Article 7, it clearly states, "No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or
degrading treatment or punishment" (Amnesty International). Also in Article 10.1, it says, "All persons deprived
of their liberty shall be treated with humanity and with respect for the inherent dignity of the human person"
(Amnesty International). Now after going through these three cases, was the Border Patrol obeying the laws and
rules that they go by? No, they had totally broken the law and did not exercise the correct operations that they
had to go through. This is just totally wrong and inhuman. Breaking this rule is really bad, becau!
se if one is breaking this law, one knows definitely that a lot more law breaking is going on. Because these are
the main rights that people have and it protects them from experienced a large amount of pain and anguish. For
the Border Patrol to be doing these kinds of crazy acts its just uncalled for and totally wrong. How can they
gain trust throughout the community if they are treating other people inhuman like running them over with their
vehicle or beating them up? It is just a disgrace to hear something like this and that is why the Border Patrol
needs a change.
        Here is another right that people have, which is Principle 6 of the United Nations Body of Principles for
the Protection of All Person under Any Form of Detention or Imprisonment. This principle states, "No person
under any form of detention or imprisonment shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading
treatment or punishment. No circumstances whatever may be invoked as a justification for torture or other cruel,
inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment" (Amnesty International). An incident of this rule being broken
dealt with Pedro Garcia on May 16, 1997. When the Border Patrol officer made him stand against the wall, legs
spread wide apart, he thought that he was just going to be searched. Instead, he was punched in the ribs and he
had his armed twisted. The Patrol Officer yelled in Spanish, "Do you want me to break your arm?" (Amnesty
International). Another incident was when Andres Hurtado on April 24, 1997 was pushed to the ground and was cau!
ght up in cactus spines. Hurtado was being assaulted while the Patrol officers yelled, "Get up you mother
f@#*ers, you Goddamn wetbacks, dumb @sses!" (Amnesty International). Now with performing these actions, were
these officers performing their jobs correctly? Of course not! It is clear that they broke the law and now they
should be disciplined for it. It is just wrong for those who are in authority to be breaking the law because
they are the ones who are supposed to be enforcing the law.
        Another major right that immigrants have proper medical treatment. In the United Nations Body of
Principles it states, "A proper medical examination shall be offered to a detained or imprisoned person as
promptly as possible after his admission to the place of detention or imprisonment, and thereafter medical care
and treatment shall be provided whenever necessary" (Amnesty International). Here is a some case where this
principle was not exercised. On April 5, 1997, an elderly Mexican woman was brought into the hospital. In the
hospital x-rays showed that she had a broken leg and that her leg needed to be in a cast. But before she could
have gotten any medical treatment, a couple of men came in and said that she was, "being discharged." But one of
the nurses told these men that this lady could not walk. However, these men took her over the international
border line and "dumped her there with her two children" (Amnesty International). According to the nurses, this
was !
not the first time that this had happened. Is this type of actions human? No it is not and its just terrible to
treat someone so mean even though they are immigrants and have performed an illegal action. It still doesnt give
the Border Patrol an excuse to be treating these people unfairly.
        "Every prisoner shall be provided by the administration at the usual hours with food of nutritional value
adequate for health and strength, of wholesome quality and well prepared and served. Drinking water shall be
available to every prisoner whenever he needs it" according to the United Nations Standard Minimum Rules for the
Treatment of Prisoners (Amnesty International). This right, mainly says that those in authority must provide
food to prisoners. Here are some cases in which the Border Patrol did not obey this rule. In August, 1997, "the
INS Western Regional Director, Gustavo De La Vina, gave assurances that all Border Patrol Vehicles would be
required to carry canisters of water in the El Centro and Arizona sectors" (Amnesty International). But still
there were many reports that immigrants were still being denied from having water to drink. Also during 1997,
there were many reports that immigrants were being denied water when they got to the detention center when !
they were caught. What was really bad was that in some detention centers, they had their water fountains right
next to the toilets, which were very smelly. Some people who were not given access to water suffered from
dehydration and heat exhaustion.
        In all these cases, it seems as if the Border Patrol is not doing their jobs correctly. They are not
treating immigrants fairly. They treat them cruel, are often tortured, are denied any medical attention and are
not provided food and water. Does this seem fair to treat these people in this way? Would it be morally right
to be acting this way towards these people? Many of these immigrants dont know how to exercise their rights
because they dont know what to do mainly because they dont speak English. To not have this happen any longer,
the Border Patrol officers should have a translator that tells these people their rights. They should also have
a supervisor at the detention center at all times so that that person knows whats going on at all times. It is a
shame to hear and see this happening in our country. And these cases were reported lately. One would think that
things would get better as the years goes by, but that is not the case with the Border Patrol. It see!
ms as if it is getting worse and worse as the days go by. The community and many other people need to get
together and try to make improvements. With the peoples opinions, the Border Patrol should have a good idea in
what areas they need to improve on and what they can do to improve themselves. The United States is known to be
one of the best countries to live in and having a part of the government operating in this in-human matter is
just wrong. There needs to be a change.

---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
pablo says, "good job galvin."
pablo says, "yes, proofread, but also edit or revise for more global issues aas we talked about in class on
thursday."
Galvin says, "thanks"
AaronB says, " These conflicts range from violating peoples rights through murder. I believe that this sentece
should say. These conflicts range from violating peoples rights all the way to murder or something like that"
pablo says, "i'll be back"
pablo goes out.
Galvin says, "ok"
AaronB says, "In the first paragraph I believe that you should leave the "Obviously" part out because if it where
that obvious no one should be writing a paper about it. And also try to explain what the Bunuelos incident was
because I did not know what it was about."
Galvin says, "ok. that incident was when he was being charged of murdering a immigrant but in court he was found
not guilty"
manders says, " In the sentence "Because these are the main rigths.... " I think it would be better if it start
the sentence with These are the main rigths.... I think that could sound better"
Galvin says, "alright"
Galvin says, "what paragraph is that sentence in?"
manders says, "the top paragraph"
Galvin says, "ok"
manders says, "towards the end"
AaronB says, "Well I finished reading the essay and it sounds very well done, I could not find any more mistakes
on the essay. I found it quite good when you introduced the laws with the cases that you had found."
manders says, "I have one more paragraph"
Galvin says, "alright"
manders says, "I am done your paper is very good. You totally support arguement. Good job."
Galvin says, "so do you think i'm pretty much done with my essay?"
AaronB says, "yes I believe so"
Galvin says, "or do i need to make some changes?"
Galvin says, "ok. that's cool!"
manders says, "I think so? "
AaronB says, "I gues we are not going to have enough time to read all of them"
Galvin says, "yeah "
Galvin says, "who's going next? or are we done?"
AaronB says, "I hope paul gives us more time"
Galvin says, "there's 15 more minutes"
manders says, "do you want to go or do you want me to go?"
Galvin says, "we should continue this on thursday"
pablo has arrived.
manders says, "I think so too"
AaronB says, "can I go first cause mine really sucks and I need help with it"
pablo says, "everything ok?"
AaronB says, "Paul are we going to have more time"
manders says, "sure"
pablo says, "remember that essay 2 and the portfolio are due on thursday."
AaronB says, "We have only been able to go through one"
pablo [to AaronB]: "you can stay here as long as you like!
pablo says, "keep up the good work!"
Galvin says, "ok"
pablo goes out.
Galvin says, "well dude are you going to stay on like after class?"
----------------------------------AaronB-----------------------------------
Aaron Bejarano
English 101
Section 6
3-21-00
Essay #2
Word count: 1,374

The Bully Is Within Us
Don't you just hate bullies? Many kids are being harassed by bully's everyday of their school life, and
most of the kids grow up remembering the pain, humiliation, and horror that they went through when they came face
to face with their bully. It is sad to say, but it never truly ends as long as there is someone that has more
power than the next man does. Many of today's biggest bullies are our own authorities, whom suppose to protect
the people instead of abusing their power to do as they please. During these past few decades there have been
some good examples of how our authorities abuse their power to protect and serve, and actually harass and harm
people. The most familiar story that we have encountered with this type of cruelty happened to a colored person
named Rodney King. Police officials started beating this defenseless man while he was on the ground. Could this
have been a case of racism in part of the police officers? Who knows, but this sort of action has !
not stopped and it looks like as if though these sort of actions have increased more each time. This is not only
happening to dark people like Rodney King but also to Immigrants that are trying to cross the border in search of
a better future. There are many Immigrants that risk themselves to the consequence of being caught by a Border
Patrol Agent and not know if they are going to be nice to them or not. The reason why some of the Immigrants are
not cooperative is because they do not know if they are going to be beaten or killed by their bully-The Border
Patrol Agent. Of course the Border Patrol Agents are just trying to do their jobs, but some of them are not doing
it very well. The way in which this problem might be overcome is by standing up to our bullies and tell them
that we have rights.
In September 15 of the year 1997 an incident occurred involving a Border Patrol Agent using excessive
physical force towards a person crossing the border.
"The agent grabbed him and threw him head first against the bronco. The force with which he was thrown against
the vehicle caused him to break his jaw. He suffered other lacerations when they arrested him. None of the
local hospitals in Calexico would take him because he had no insurance, so he was transferred to UCSD Medical
Center in San Diego where he was treated for three days" (AFSC).

This sort of treatment towards another person is just not acceptable in any case. The Border Patrol Agent should
of known better than to cross the line in this form. He was sent to an academy to learn how to treat people
during different kinds of situations. Could it be that he was not a good student, or is it the fact that the
person that was trying to cross the border a Mexican? We can also see a similar situation that happened to
Florencio D. C. on January 8th, 1998. "When the agents caught up to him, they began beating him with their
batons, fists and feet" (AFSC). Surely enough it is clear that the Border Patrol has no respect towards people
but also towards the law that they are trying to protect so dearly. Is it really that the agents want to protect
the citizens of the United States of America from people that want to work in this country and brighten up their
own future as they achieve the freedom they never had in their own country? Of course we will never kn!
ow what went through the agents minds as they were doing their "jobs," but one thing that we are sure of is that
they were not doing their jobs correctly.
        In this day in age we try to get as far away as we can from any police authority because we never know
when we are going to get stopped for a good reason and not feel intimidated by the official. "In 1994, Nogales
police arrested a Border Patrol agent in connection with the molestation of a 12-year-old girl" (The New York
Times). An adult Border Patrol Agent abused a poor little girl, just because she was on the wrong place at the
wrong time. Could you just imagine what the little girl went through when this inhuman Border Patrol Agent
abused her and basically arrested her for crossing the border after he had done his malicious act. Not only is
it a crime to do such a horrid thing to a child but it is also immoral. We cannot truly say that we are truly
safe having any sort official by our side because we really do not know what he is thinking at the moment. This
fault not only lies on the agent but the fault also lies on the United States Government for allowing such ag!
ents to have this sort of authority of law. Every single authority official should be going to a psychiatrist to
actually study their minds and see if they are capable of doing cruel things to people with less power.
        These sorts of acts do not just leave the Immigrants scared, but it also leaves the citizens of this
great country in fear as well. The citizens really do not know whether to trust any authority official because
they do not know when their rights are going to be taken away from them. It seems as if though in every case
that was presented, the official did not give the person they had captured all of the rights they have so that
they can defend themselves from any sort of abuse. Immigrants tend to hind everything that they have gone
through with officials because they are scared of what might happened to them if they go out in the open. They
have the fear of being deported back to their country, and with this lies the collapsing of their future towards
the ground once again.
        In order to live well in any country that there is in this world we need to have trust with our police
officials so that we can live worry free of being violated of our rights. Even though we might think that we do
not need to know our rights well because the authorities are going to take care of us, well we are wrong. We
need to be able to know our rights well so that if we are faced with any injustice we have the backup of knowing
our rights and telling them off when someone is violating those precious rights. The thing that the Immigrants
do not know well is their rights. Once the Immigrants are able to learn their rights they can fight for them,
and not be wrong for doing so. Martin Luther King J.R. knew his rights well, and even though he was mistreated
for all of his lifetime he was able to make a difference by standing up for himself and for his race. The
process of letting yourself be heard might take a while, but in the long run it might be worth the wait, and !
you can actually feel safe in the country you most desire to be in. In order to defeat any sort of bully we need
to develop many strategies, and the one that usually works the best is using our brains. By using the knowledge
that we might gain from knowing our rights we are able to defeat any one that tries to violate our sacred right
of being safe at all times.

Works Cited

American Friends Service Committee. "Border Patrol Abuses."
http://www.afsc.org/ilemp/brdr9805.htm.

Collins, Allyson. "Border Patrol Abuses Need Cleaning Up." The New York Times
12 Oct. 1993: p(A16).

Myans, Seth. "Pushing Against Tide at Mexico Border." The New York Times 19 Feb.
1994: p6.

"Union Alleges Border Patrol Faked Results In Crackdown." The New York Times
14 July 1996: p21.

"U.S. Border Agent Accused in Sexual Assault on an Illegal Allien." The New York
Times 22 Dec. 1995: p(A29).

---------------------------------finished----------------------------------
AaronB says, "did it work"
Galvin says, "yup, yup!"
manders says, "yes"
manders says, "in your second sentence first paragraph I think you should take out "everyday of their school
life" and just say "everyday""
Galvin says, "in the first paragraph, "during these past few decades there have been...." that sentence has a lot
of the word "and" in it. Maybe try to break it up."
AaronB says, "alright"
manders says, "you need an "are" in this sentence "Many of today's biggest bullies are our own authorities, whom
are suppose to protect....""
AaronB says, "ok"
Galvin says, "I really like you introduction!"
AaronB says, "if any of you need to go it is cool""
pablo has arrived.
Galvin says, "i can stay for about another 5 minutes cause i have another class to get to"
AaronB says, "cool"
pablo says, "ok. i've got to run. but you all can stay here as long as you want!"
pablo says, "see you thursday."
pablo goes out.
manders says, "can too"
Galvin says, "i gotta go"
AaronB says, "cool"
AaronB says, "laterz"
Galvin (asleep) has disconnected.
manders says, "The fourth paragraph first sentence needs work, make it more simple."
AaronB says, "ok"
The housekeeper arrives to cart Galvin off to bed.
pablo has arrived.
pablo says, "hello again."